Love, love, love?

I have been away from this blog for about two months, just figuring things out, and I have had some amazing discoveries! Most important, I have been enjoying my life-creating things I want-and finding the peace, love, friendship, and prosperity that I have always wanted.

In fact-my two month journey has been so inspiring to me that I am working on two seperate projects. One is a fictional book, and the other is a handbook about creating what you want.

The handbook is fun to write, and inspiration, and is actually being written on post it's at the moment so the ideas can move around easier! Its great!

One note....I think that two months ago, my "spiritual" journey changed dramatically when I challenged myself for one month to answer this question "HOW CAN I LOVE EVERYONE UNCONDITIONALLY?"

The Kernal or the Kobb?

I love to see people so enthusiastic about our new president. People say that he gives them hope, something to believe in, and a breath of fresh air. Yet, there is more to the story. People are feeling hopeful not because of what are president is doing (what has he done yet?) but they are feeling hopeful because of what they are doing for themselves.



People are giving themselves hope because their thinking is changing. People are giving themselves hope because they are changing how they think of themselves, of their world, of who they are. In fact, they were the only one with the power to make themselves feel better, they are doing it.



I personally feel it is important to make this distinction because if you don't, you are giving all of your power away. It is like saying "my happiness, my well being, and who I want to be all depends on....(place name here)" but when something goes wrong, or does not go your way, what will happen to all of those good feelings?



It is important to realize that "I have started to change the way I think. The way I think is starting to give me more hope. I no longer think that I have no power. I have always had the power to make me feel good."



I wanted to point this out because I want people to be able to keep their power. I want people to understand what it feels to completely live inside of themselves. To feel the wholeness of themselves.



The new president knows how to do this. He knows what it takes to be a whole person. He does not allow outside influences to dictate his personal power. HE moves along effortlessly through the world and does amazing things because he is strong within, because he is a whole person. The same goes for other amazing people that we marvel at each day, such as Oprah (a personal favorite), Gandhi, Pop stars, Movie stars. These people have personal power because they have come to understand how to utilize their thought power, and how to live completely inside of themselves



Could you imagine, just for a moment, if there were more whole people out there? Could you imagine if there were more people not giving their power away to other people, but realizing it was always they who were giving themselves hope, love, freedom, and power? Could you imagine if there were more people out there that minded their own business, that focused on themselves, that delighted in themselves, that knew that they were the only ones with all of the control in their lives. How would the world be different? Wouldn't problems be easier to solve?

If you really want to learn how to give yourself power, begin to observe. Observe when you become happy-was it the outside influence, or was it you changing your thought pattern? Remember it is always you, this whole world is about you right now because it can't be any other way-you are the one living inside of your body, and living life from your perspective.

I remember once I was down because I had no money, I only had five dollars (I guess I did have money). I took the five dollars out of one pants pocket, placed it in another pants pocket, and then left my room to go to the kitchen. I came back to my room, and reached into the pants pocket I transferred the money to, but I forgot I'd placed the money in that pocket. I was sooooo happy for a moment when I felt my hand feel the money because I thought I'd left some money in there from months ago. I didn't know it was the same money I just felt five minutes ago-I was thinking I was going to be a couple of dollars richer. Well, it turned out it was the same money-but for that split moment I became happy just with the thought I had more money.....Who made me happy in that moment, the money itself or the thought of having more money? And if I can have the thought of more money that makes me happy, and if I can manipulate my thoughts, who has the power-ME.

It's time we start giving ourselves some credit.

(Okay, so when I write it is alot of me saying *you you you. Well really, I am not trying to tell you to do anything-I'm really writing for me just as much as anyone who reads this. I really take my articles to heart. I want myself to be a more of a whole person, to have personal power, to not give it all away-why?-because I love myself.)

Bible Talk-yay! or nay?

I had to think about this before I wrote it because it almost seems like a death sentence, but I figured I might as well write about it because it has been my little insight for the day.

As I begin to realize that I hold the power to my peace and happiness, that I am the one that allows or disallows my well being, that it is ME who holds the power, many of things have begun to clear up for me. For instance, early in the morning I woke up and I thought to myself this quote that Jesus said:

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Suddenly it made perfect sense. If someone was saying this in a present teaching they might have said this:

"I am that, which is freedom and peace and joy. No one can give me these three things except me."

*Before I end I just want to say, I don't claim any religion because I don't. Simple. I did grow up in the Christian church with a Christian family full of preaches and choir singers. So of course I see bibles all of the time, and I pick them up because they are around. But now I see the truth in them. If I was born into any other religion, I just might have picked up another religious text and finding truth in those too.

I need to be happy, Is it true?

I used to beat myself up about being happy. "I need to be happy-but I'm not." "I want to be happy-but I'm not." Sometimes, thinking that I needed to be happy hurt allot.

Even today I have a close family member who wants to be happy-but they aren't. If your reality right now is that you are not happy, that is okay. In fact, I am beginning to see that there is more than happy, there is something better than happy, but it is indescribable. No, I don't currently live in the place I'm talking about all of the time, but sometimes I do, and its nice because it does not exist in the world of opposites.

If you are feeling down and you think you should be happy, ask yourself this question, "who would I be without the thought I need to be happy?"

Well, when I ask myself that, I come up with this list:

-peaceful

-content

-steady

-I would not know what happiness was, so there would be nothing to live up to (wow think of the freedom!)

One Thing I Know For Sure

Okay, maybe it is two things I know for sure....I know for sure that my opinions about everything are always constantly changing as I explore my thoughts and go deeper and deeper into the world of me-spirituality-reality-god, or whatever it is that ominous "it" or "presence" is. Since those opinions are always changing, so is this blog.

But what I definetly also know for sure is that nothing outside of me makes me happy. I can think back to all of the times I thought I REALLY wanted something because I just really KNEW it was going to be IT, it was going to be THE ONE that made my day........

The trips, the phone, the friends, the people, the food, the camera, the bike, the shirt, the shoes, the pants.......oh my goodness so many things I thought I needed to make me happy.  In fact I've thought I needed so many things that I look around sometimes and wonder where all of this junk inside of my house came from.

But I believe with absolute confidence I can say now that what makes me happy is not outside of me...I know I have said this before, but now I feel it within my gut, I know it deeply.

I became aware of this deeply recently because I ordered some hair products online. I'd been waiting all week for the hair products to come. I really wanted them. I wanted them so bad I stayed home for the mail man to come all week even though I wanted to go outside. I just had this craving for them..it meant alot to me.....and they came...late....and then I didn't have any reaction when I opened the package...maybe I thought balloons and a clown and a parade would pop out to tell me I just won a million bucks..who knows.

The point is, now I know for a fact, its not the outside world I'm searching for...I have a feeling its on the inside, but I don't know that for sure either, at least for right now. So I write on this blog everyday, and work on me ever day, because I have that little inkling that the happiness I'm searching for is within my own reach so much that its right here in myself, just waiting.

What's in a friend....?

(Before I even begin...There is a picture of cows to the left...It has nothing to really do with the post I just like the way they look...but it could have to do with the post if you think of it in terms of the relationships)

I'm always full of questions. Its been that way since the day I knew I was alive. Now I am wondering something new. What's in a friend? What is friendship? I mean really...what is it? I'm starting to question it. I like friends because they make me feel good and I make them feel good so that's why we like being around each other...

I still feel like there is more to friendship that I haven't yet discovered, more to this relationship to one another thing....

I guess I wonder because for awhile I felt all alone....and I didn't want to be alone.....then I became okay with being alone...and now I cant keep people from coming in through my front back and side doors....

-Pondering

Speaking of Control Freaks

Unknown to me until recently, I have found that I am a huge control freak!  If you would have asked me a couple of months ago I probably would have told you a different story- I would have told you that I was a selfless person that simply goes with the flow of life.  But sadly (or not so sadly) I was wrong, wrong, wrong!

But you know, I think that we all have control issues.  We want to control the weather, or what someone else is thinking, or what someone else is doing, or we even want to control situations that we don't like, but have no power to actually change.  Its absolutely maddening!

Well today I realized something brand new (or at least it was new to me):

We think we are in control of people, and we especially think we are in control of them when we tell them what to do and they do it.  When someone does as I say I feel like I have the power, I am the one that made them do that!  But today I realized this is far from the truth.  It was their choice to do what I said.  Their choice.  It never had to do with me.  It was just as much their choice to do as I said as it was their choice to not do as I said.  So it was never about me, it was always always always about them.  

It's very freeing to realize this.  To know that nothing anyone does is necessarily personal in relation to you-no, everything everyone does is very personal to them.