These are three journal entries I wrote over the past week that involve money. This month I vowed to work on my relationship with money because I'm tired of being controlled by my negative thoughts about money-it was getting to the point of driving me crazy! I like to ask myself now, "if money was your boyfriend/girlfriend would you want to still be in the relationship?"
January 17, 2009
Today my money was not stable. I knew it was going to start coming
out of my bank account, so I braced myself for it all day. First, I
only used nickels dimes and quarters to take the bus today thinking I
could possibly avoid going to my bank and taking out the crispy
twenties.
Honestly, I hate to see money go. I want it to stay, to stick around
longer, and to keep on piling up.
(some might say, "what does money have to do with happiness? I
thought true happiness came from spirit or self, or some other far out
place." Well, that may be true, but for now I know this is true for
me: all of my relationships, the good and bad are teaching me
something and the bad relationships are especially helpful because
they give me an opportunity to open up. Lucky for me I have a bad
relationship with money, and I am happy to keep on working on my
relationship with it, because each time I do, I understand it more,
and I begin to understand myself.)
I hate to see money go
I want it to stay
I am afraid money won’t come back
I want money to keep piling up
January 21, 2009
What’s Money Doing?
-It’s coming and going
-It’s steady
-I am feeling less afraid of it
(I have found some wonderful blogs that discuss money that I happened on by chance. They are beautifully written, and I really love reading them. )
-I am starting to learn that there is nothing to fear about money….that it comes back
-Now, if I replaced the word money with boyfriend-how would I feel about this guy I’m dating? (My boyfriend is coming and going, he is steady, and I am feeling less afraid about him because I know that he comes back). Wow, it sounds like I’m starting to fall in love with my boyfriend, it even looks like a relationship worth keeping!
January 23, 2009
Money is more fun than I thought it was. Yes, it comes and goes. But
without the thought that it shouldn't go, or the thought that it wont
come back, then everything changes. Imagine telling your boyfriend,
or your best friend that they shouldn't go, or thinking they wont come
back-it hurts alot, doesn't it?
It also drives the other person crazy. It is most likely that the more you cling to a person the sooner they will become irritated when they are around you, and your
relationship is less than fun, and more of a burden. It’s the same
with money-I'm starting to learn that everything is a reflection of
every relationship in your life.
In fact, I’m starting to really love having my bad relationship with
money because it is giving me an opportunity to learn how to give
unconditional love in all of my relationships. It is teaching me to
let go in all of my relationships. It is teaching me how to have fun
in all of my relationships.
Wow!
Lately, even though money has been going, my account has still been
full. It leaves, and then somehow gets filled back up. It's nice to see
the growing number-then I spend it.
Recently I read a really beautiful article, and it made me think of my
relationship with money in a way I never thought of before- How would
money like to be treated? Whoa. Mind blowing. I was only thinking
about me (I want money to treat me nicer, I want money to stick
around, I want money to love me, I want money to be more abundant-not
only do I want it to do those things but it SHOULD be doing those
things). But I never thought about what money would WANT from ME.
How money would DESCRIBE ME in a relationship.
It would probably describe me as controlling, and stingy. While I am making it stay around me, there is no love but only tension which is obviously stressful and no fun-so when money gets the chance to leave it never wants to come back (this is how I would feel if I were in money's position).
So, with all of my rambling I think I have come to this. I have to be
the change I want to see in the relationship. I want to treat money
nicer, I want myself to stick around (I change when money isn't
around, i get more stressed, not as open, not as giving), I want to
love myself and I want to love money, I want myself to be more
abundant. It seems like alot to ask of myself-but if I thought money
SHOULD do it, then why not me first?
Constantly Exploring,
Today my money was not stable. I knew it was going to start coming
out of my bank account, so I braced myself for it all day. First, I
only used nickels dimes and quarters to take the bus today thinking I
could possibly avoid going to my bank and taking out the crispy
twenties.
Honestly, I hate to see money go. I want it to stay, to stick around
longer, and to keep on piling up.
(some might say, "what does money have to do with happiness? I
thought true happiness came from spirit or self, or some other far out
place." Well, that may be true, but for now I know this is true for
me: all of my relationships, the good and bad are teaching me
something and the bad relationships are especially helpful because
they give me an opportunity to open up. Lucky for me I have a bad
relationship with money, and I am happy to keep on working on my
relationship with it, because each time I do, I understand it more,
and I begin to understand myself.)
I hate to see money go
I want it to stay
I am afraid money won’t come back
I want money to keep piling up
January 21, 2009
What’s Money Doing?
-It’s coming and going
-It’s steady
-I am feeling less afraid of it
(I have found some wonderful blogs that discuss money that I happened on by chance. They are beautifully written, and I really love reading them. )
-I am starting to learn that there is nothing to fear about money….that it comes back
-Now, if I replaced the word money with boyfriend-how would I feel about this guy I’m dating? (My boyfriend is coming and going, he is steady, and I am feeling less afraid about him because I know that he comes back). Wow, it sounds like I’m starting to fall in love with my boyfriend, it even looks like a relationship worth keeping!
January 23, 2009
Money is more fun than I thought it was. Yes, it comes and goes. But
without the thought that it shouldn't go, or the thought that it wont
come back, then everything changes. Imagine telling your boyfriend,
or your best friend that they shouldn't go, or thinking they wont come
back-it hurts alot, doesn't it?
It also drives the other person crazy. It is most likely that the more you cling to a person the sooner they will become irritated when they are around you, and your
relationship is less than fun, and more of a burden. It’s the same
with money-I'm starting to learn that everything is a reflection of
every relationship in your life.
In fact, I’m starting to really love having my bad relationship with
money because it is giving me an opportunity to learn how to give
unconditional love in all of my relationships. It is teaching me to
let go in all of my relationships. It is teaching me how to have fun
in all of my relationships.
Wow!
Lately, even though money has been going, my account has still been
full. It leaves, and then somehow gets filled back up. It's nice to see
the growing number-then I spend it.
Recently I read a really beautiful article, and it made me think of my
relationship with money in a way I never thought of before- How would
money like to be treated? Whoa. Mind blowing. I was only thinking
about me (I want money to treat me nicer, I want money to stick
around, I want money to love me, I want money to be more abundant-not
only do I want it to do those things but it SHOULD be doing those
things). But I never thought about what money would WANT from ME.
How money would DESCRIBE ME in a relationship.
It would probably describe me as controlling, and stingy. While I am making it stay around me, there is no love but only tension which is obviously stressful and no fun-so when money gets the chance to leave it never wants to come back (this is how I would feel if I were in money's position).
So, with all of my rambling I think I have come to this. I have to be
the change I want to see in the relationship. I want to treat money
nicer, I want myself to stick around (I change when money isn't
around, i get more stressed, not as open, not as giving), I want to
love myself and I want to love money, I want myself to be more
abundant. It seems like alot to ask of myself-but if I thought money
SHOULD do it, then why not me first?
Constantly Exploring,
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