The Quest For Happiness

Love is good, and love is bad

2009-04-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

How can I love everyone?
What is love?
Who is the face of God?
How is God love?

My personal journey for the rest of this month, and the month of may will be to understand love.

Love is probably one of the most fascinating discoveries I have uncovered so far, and I want to understand it deeper, I want to feel it.

My personal definition of love is now this:

Love is the allowance/acceptance of all things.

So is it true that all we need is love? Well, maybe it is true-if love is the allowance and acceptance of all things, how would the world change if this definition of love was taken to heart? Or better yet, forget the world, how would I change?

Everyday questions?

2009-04-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Are there people out there that just have everyday questions that they need advice on? Ever day frustrations that they want to discuss? Basically, everyday anythings? Well if you do, please talk to me! I really want to know what people are thinking, what people need help with, what people want to know because I find that I forget what people really want. It would help enrich my life as well as yours! Thanks!

Love, love, love?

2009-04-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

I have been away from this blog for about two months, just figuring things out, and I have had some amazing discoveries! Most important, I have been enjoying my life-creating things I want-and finding the peace, love, friendship, and prosperity that I have always wanted.

In fact-my two month journey has been so inspiring to me that I am working on two seperate projects. One is a fictional book, and the other is a handbook about creating what you want.

The handbook is fun to write, and inspiration, and is actually being written on post it's at the moment so the ideas can move around easier! Its great!

One note....I think that two months ago, my "spiritual" journey changed dramatically when I challenged myself for one month to answer this question "HOW CAN I LOVE EVERYONE UNCONDITIONALLY?"

Law of Attraction

2009-04-11T21:50:00.001-07:00

Does anyone know about the law of attraction? Does anyone think they really have it?

Financial Alchemy

2009-01-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

www.abundanceandprosperity.com

January is almost over...which means my month of specific money exploration is coming to an end...well technically it is supposed to end, but that may or may not happen (I probably just wont write about it as much).

I cant believe where the journey has taken me. I started off not understanding money, hating money, loathing it, and needing it all at the same time, to coming to understand how important it is to have a loving caring relationship with money.

Around two day's ago I went to a website I found called www.abundanceandprosperity.com where a woman named Morgana Rae talks about financial alchemy.

She said to list the reason why you hate money, what money has represented to you, your underlying beliefs about money, then she stated that you should create a money villain-what would the money villain look like, smell like, taste like, feel like, does he break you down emotionally? Write it down, create that character that completely repulses you.

Then divorce the money villain.

After the divorce create your money honey....if money were a person, the love of your life, how would they be? What would they look like, feel like, taste like, act like? How would you act around this person? Fall in love with the character, fall in love with your new money honey.

I did the exercise, and you know what-it was awesome! The next day I found $26 which means alot to me! The exercise is great because you create an automatic new relationship with money, you can start to ask yourself what your money honey would like-you start to also realize that money desires you just as much as you desire it, and that it loves you just as much as you love it.

I suggest to everyone that they check out Morgana Rae's website www.abundanceandprosperity.com where Morgana Rae offers a free ebook and mp3 interview just for signing up for her free newsletter.

I will post examples of what my money honey, and money villains were like just to give you guys an idea!

Lucky for me I dont Like Money

2009-01-23T10:34:00.000-08:00

These are three journal entries I wrote over the past week that involve money. This month I vowed to work on my relationship with money because I'm tired of being controlled by my negative thoughts about money-it was getting to the point of driving me crazy! I like to ask myself now, "if money was your boyfriend/girlfriend would you want to still be in the relationship?"

January 17, 2009

Today my money was not stable. I knew it was going to start coming
out of my bank account, so I braced myself for it all day. First, I
only used nickels dimes and quarters to take the bus today thinking I
could possibly avoid going to my bank and taking out the crispy
twenties.

Honestly, I hate to see money go. I want it to stay, to stick around
longer, and to keep on piling up.

(some might say, "what does money have to do with happiness? I
thought true happiness came from spirit or self, or some other far out
place." Well, that may be true, but for now I know this is true for
me: all of my relationships, the good and bad are teaching me
something and the bad relationships are especially helpful because
they give me an opportunity to open up. Lucky for me I have a bad
relationship with money, and I am happy to keep on working on my
relationship with it, because each time I do, I understand it more,
and I begin to understand myself.)

I hate to see money go

I want it to stay

I am afraid money won’t come back

I want money to keep piling up

January 21, 2009

What’s Money Doing?

-It’s coming and going
-It’s steady
-I am feeling less afraid of it

(I have found some wonderful blogs that discuss money that I happened on by chance. They are beautifully written, and I really love reading them. )

-I am starting to learn that there is nothing to fear about money….that it comes back
-Now, if I replaced the word money with boyfriend-how would I feel about this guy I’m dating? (My boyfriend is coming and going, he is steady, and I am feeling less afraid about him because I know that he comes back). Wow, it sounds like I’m starting to fall in love with my boyfriend, it even looks like a relationship worth keeping!

January 23, 2009

Money is more fun than I thought it was. Yes, it comes and goes. But
without the thought that it shouldn't go, or the thought that it wont
come back, then everything changes. Imagine telling your boyfriend,
or your best friend that they shouldn't go, or thinking they wont come
back-it hurts alot, doesn't it?

It also drives the other person crazy. It is most likely that the more you cling to a person the sooner they will become irritated when they are around you, and your
relationship is less than fun, and more of a burden. It’s the same
with money-I'm starting to learn that everything is a reflection of
every relationship in your life.

In fact, I’m starting to really love having my bad relationship with
money because it is giving me an opportunity to learn how to give
unconditional love in all of my relationships. It is teaching me to
let go in all of my relationships. It is teaching me how to have fun
in all of my relationships.

Wow!

Lately, even though money has been going, my account has still been
full. It leaves, and then somehow gets filled back up. It's nice to see
the growing number-then I spend it.

Recently I read a really beautiful article, and it made me think of my
relationship with money in a way I never thought of before- How would
money like to be treated? Whoa. Mind blowing. I was only thinking
about me (I want money to treat me nicer, I want money to stick
around, I want money to love me, I want money to be more abundant-not
only do I want it to do those things but it SHOULD be doing those
things). But I never thought about what money would WANT from ME.
How money would DESCRIBE ME in a relationship.

It would probably describe me as controlling, and stingy. While I am making it stay around me, there is no love but only tension which is obviously stressful and no fun-so when money gets the chance to leave it never wants to come back (this is how I would feel if I were in money's position).

So, with all of my rambling I think I have come to this. I have to be
the change I want to see in the relationship. I want to treat money
nicer, I want myself to stick around (I change when money isn't
around, i get more stressed, not as open, not as giving), I want to
love myself and I want to love money, I want myself to be more
abundant. It seems like alot to ask of myself-but if I thought money
SHOULD do it, then why not me first?

Constantly Exploring,

The Kernal or the Kobb?

2009-01-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

I love to see people so enthusiastic about our new president. People say that he gives them hope, something to believe in, and a breath of fresh air. Yet, there is more to the story. People are feeling hopeful not because of what are president is doing (what has he done yet?) but they are feeling hopeful because of what they are doing for themselves.

People are giving themselves hope because their thinking is changing. People are giving themselves hope because they are changing how they think of themselves, of their world, of who they are. In fact, they were the only one with the power to make themselves feel better, they are doing it.

I personally feel it is important to make this distinction because if you don't, you are giving all of your power away. It is like saying "my happiness, my well being, and who I want to be all depends on....(place name here)" but when something goes wrong, or does not go your way, what will happen to all of those good feelings?

It is important to realize that "I have started to change the way I think. The way I think is starting to give me more hope. I no longer think that I have no power. I have always had the power to make me feel good."

I wanted to point this out because I want people to be able to keep their power. I want people to understand what it feels to completely live inside of themselves. To feel the wholeness of themselves.

The new president knows how to do this. He knows what it takes to be a whole person. He does not allow outside influences to dictate his personal power. HE moves along effortlessly through the world and does amazing things because he is strong within, because he is a whole person. The same goes for other amazing people that we marvel at each day, such as Oprah (a personal favorite), Gandhi, Pop stars, Movie stars. These people have personal power because they have come to understand how to utilize their thought power, and how to live completely inside of themselves

Could you imagine, just for a moment, if there were more whole people out there? Could you imagine if there were more people not giving their power away to other people, but realizing it was always they who were giving themselves hope, love, freedom, and power? Could you imagine if there were more people out there that minded their own business, that focused on themselves, that delighted in themselves, that knew that they were the only ones with all of the control in their lives. How would the world be different? Wouldn't problems be easier to solve?

If you really want to learn how to give yourself power, begin to observe. Observe when you become happy-was it the outside influence, or was it you changing your thought pattern? Remember it is always you, this whole world is about you right now because it can't be any other way-you are the one living inside of your body, and living life from your perspective.

I remember once I was down because I had no money, I only had five dollars (I guess I did have money). I took the five dollars out of one pants pocket, placed it in another pants pocket, and then left my room to go to the kitchen. I came back to my room, and reached into the pants pocket I transferred the money to, but I forgot I'd placed the money in that pocket. I was sooooo happy for a moment when I felt my hand feel the money because I thought I'd left some money in there from months ago. I didn't know it was the same money I just felt five minutes ago-I was thinking I was going to be a couple of dollars richer. Well, it turned out it was the same money-but for that split moment I became happy just with the thought I had more money.....Who made me happy in that moment, the money itself or the thought of having more money? And if I can have the thought of more money that makes me happy, and if I can manipulate my thoughts, who has the power-ME.

It's time we start giving ourselves some credit.

(Okay, so when I write it is alot of me saying *you you you. Well really, I am not trying to tell you to do anything-I'm really writing for me just as much as anyone who reads this. I really take my articles to heart. I want myself to be a more of a whole person, to have personal power, to not give it all away-why?-because I love myself.)

Thought Clouds

2009-01-19T08:58:00.000-08:00

There is nothing in there that is me.

No spirit, no divine within.

I am it.

All of it.

I thought I had to search for days months and years.

I thought that I had to go on a long journey to find my soul.

But now I find out that I was all I was looking for.

That I was already whole.

How could it be any other way?

Acts of Impulse

2009-01-18T08:48:00.000-08:00

Lately I have been having alot of fun being out of control. The More get past the stories of my life (I am going to be an artist, I am in school, I am a very kind person) the more I get to feel that little impulse of inspiration.

The impulse doesn't have to be for big things, like a project that will yield me a million dollars, or the next great idea for mac (I used to think that was what it was all about). I'm talking about little tiny impulses that just feel so good when you do them, they are like the itch that you just have to scratch and when you finally do get to scratch it feels AMAZING.

For instance, yesterday I walked into a restroom at a coffee shop.There was water on the sink, dry paper towels that someone just placed there, and paper towels on the floor near the garbage. I had an impulse to clean the mess up-the next second the logical side of my brain said don't touch it, just use the bathroom and go. Would I have liked it if I were working at the coffee shop and someone cleaned this up for me? Yes. Did I clean it? Yes. Then I washed my hands.

The best part was that no one knew I did it. I didn't tell the staff that I just did them a favor, or my boyfriend who waiting for me, or my mom. It was because of the impulse I did it-so really I did it for me. It always begins and ends with me.

Is Money Mine?

2009-01-16T15:58:00.000-08:00

I am still determined to give myself the peace I truly desire from money. So I am going to pretend like money is my boyfriend this month. Yes, a boyfriend that I really love and care about and that I really want to be with. Yet there is one problem with the relationship. In my point of view, the boyfriend does not treat me so well, so I want to work on our relationship. Its an emergency though, so we have to go to hardcore counseling right away. (replace boyfriend with money)

So right now I am watching what it does. This is the first assignment. To watch what money does so I can see how it functions, how it works, who it is.

This is what I have come up with. money is constantly fluctuating, it comes then it leaves. I also notice it does not come to me at all one day, then another day it wants to be in my pocket

Bible Talk-yay! or nay?

2009-01-16T15:39:00.000-08:00

I had to think about this before I wrote it because it almost seems like a death sentence, but I figured I might as well write about it because it has been my little insight for the day.

As I begin to realize that I hold the power to my peace and happiness, that I am the one that allows or disallows my well being, that it is ME who holds the power, many of things have begun to clear up for me. For instance, early in the morning I woke up and I thought to myself this quote that Jesus said:

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Suddenly it made perfect sense. If someone was saying this in a present teaching they might have said this:

"I am that, which is freedom and peace and joy. No one can give me these three things except me."

*Before I end I just want to say, I don't claim any religion because I don't. Simple. I did grow up in the Christian church with a Christian family full of preaches and choir singers. So of course I see bibles all of the time, and I pick them up because they are around. But now I see the truth in them. If I was born into any other religion, I just might have picked up another religious text and finding truth in those too.

I need to be happy, Is it true?

2009-01-15T08:53:00.000-08:00

I used to beat myself up about being happy. "I need to be happy-but I'm not." "I want to be happy-but I'm not." Sometimes, thinking that I needed to be happy hurt allot.

Even today I have a close family member who wants to be happy-but they aren't. If your reality right now is that you are not happy, that is okay. In fact, I am beginning to see that there is more than happy, there is something better than happy, but it is indescribable. No, I don't currently live in the place I'm talking about all of the time, but sometimes I do, and its nice because it does not exist in the world of opposites.

If you are feeling down and you think you should be happy, ask yourself this question, "who would I be without the thought I need to be happy?"

Well, when I ask myself that, I come up with this list:

-peaceful

-content

-steady

-I would not know what happiness was, so there would be nothing to live up to (wow think of the freedom!)

Can I Be Happy Without Money?

2009-01-13T23:03:00.000-08:00

I have to make this my new challenge for the month. Money. The green stuff, the brown stuff, the gold stuff, the stuff that people say makes the world go around, the stuff that seems to determine whether I eat tonight or not, whether I get to see the world or not, to go to college, to live in a nice neighborhood, etc, etc.....or at least this is the way it appears.

Although I have tried often to make my relationship with money better (law of attraction, books, audio, blah blah blah) I still cant seem to make peace with money.

So I want to dedicate this month to my relationship with money. I want to know, "Can I have a successful life without money, without knowing it is going to come, without knowing whether I will have the money I desire to buy the things I need." Who would I be without my current thoughts about money? I want to find out, then share it with you.

I think I hate money, loath it, am annoyed with it, frustrated with it. But at the same time I want it, I feel I need it, I want more of it. It's an odd relationship, is it not? I hope at some point I will be able to say I love money, absolutely love it-and not because of what it gives me, but just because I love money since I love me. I think I'd like that.

The Quest For Happiness

2009-01-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

I am thinking that I should change the name of my blog....I think that the title Finding Myself and Living It still fits to what I'm doing, but even more than that I think that I realized that I'm trying to search for happiness.

Now I am thinking my blog will be named The Quest For Happiness

One Thing I Know For Sure

2009-01-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

Okay, maybe it is two things I know for sure....I know for sure that my opinions about everything are always constantly changing as I explore my thoughts and go deeper and deeper into the world of me-spirituality-reality-god, or whatever it is that ominous "it" or "presence" is. Since those opinions are always changing, so is this blog.

But what I definetly also know for sure is that nothing outside of me makes me happy. I can think back to all of the times I thought I REALLY wanted something because I just really KNEW it was going to be IT, it was going to be THE ONE that made my day........

The trips, the phone, the friends, the people, the food, the camera, the bike, the shirt, the shoes, the pants.......oh my goodness so many things I thought I needed to make me happy. In fact I've thought I needed so many things that I look around sometimes and wonder where all of this junk inside of my house came from.

But I believe with absolute confidence I can say now that what makes me happy is not outside of me...I know I have said this before, but now I feel it within my gut, I know it deeply.

I became aware of this deeply recently because I ordered some hair products online. I'd been waiting all week for the hair products to come. I really wanted them. I wanted them so bad I stayed home for the mail man to come all week even though I wanted to go outside. I just had this craving for them..it meant alot to me.....and they came...late....and then I didn't have any reaction when I opened the package...maybe I thought balloons and a clown and a parade would pop out to tell me I just won a million bucks..who knows.

The point is, now I know for a fact, its not the outside world I'm searching for...I have a feeling its on the inside, but I don't know that for sure either, at least for right now. So I write on this blog everyday, and work on me ever day, because I have that little inkling that the happiness I'm searching for is within my own reach so much that its right here in myself, just waiting.

Cant Wait....

2009-01-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

Have you ever just wanted to kick yourself in the butt? Well I know that this is a very tempting notion for me to pursue right now! I wish I could kick myself....

I wish I could just be over this whole money thing.....for awhile I was...I was where we would all like to be-completely at peace with money. Well, to be honest now that I am saying it, I cant even know that I was at peace with money or ignoring money (I'm thinking the later of the two). GRRR.

Geez....well there is one thing I know for sure right now. Me having trouble with money (and now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure if I am actually having trouble with money. Its more like trouble with my money thinking thoughts that are driving me crazy) means that I am going to have to do The Work.

I knew that at the end of one of my sessions doing The Work where I questioned my thoughts about money, I was feeling pretty good about it, but I also knew that I said I look forward to have trouble with money again..........because that's just part of the worksheet. Well here is my ample opportunity to have trouble with money again, and question those thoughts-should be fun!

www.thework.com

Stability Like A Rock

2009-01-02T12:39:00.001-08:00

"My foundation crumbled, and I saw what was underneath it-soil." (Thomas Belli)

I really fell in love with this quote from the moment I heard it. I was sitting in the car with a dear friend of mine who never wants to talk about anything serious to often. But, on this rare occasion he somehow did talk about something real-and this is why I love it when he does, because beautiful truths come out of his mouth.

This quote is so true, isn't it? We all start off building our lives, laying down the concrete, putting on the plaster, building up walls, making everything seem more secure. Then something will usually happen at some point in all of our lives. It happens because it has to.

All that we worked so hard to keep preserved, and seemingly stable in our lives begins to get shaky, then crumble, and eventually it falls.

Some of us try to build another strong foundation, or others may look around at the ruins, and suddenly see that there is fertile soil underneath of the that gunk that we tried to make so strong and secure.

It's beautiful because so many things can grow out of the soil, so many possibilities can come from it.

This is what happened in my life. I had my illusion of a life, a life that I felt was invincible because I had the friends, family, home etc. etc....then one day it all began to tear itself apart-and it lead me to where I am now....the heaven on earth, the only place where lasting stability can be found because its not stable at all-because it is.....

What's in a friend....?

2009-01-01T16:32:00.001-08:00

(Before I even begin...There is a picture of cows to the left...It has nothing to really do with the post I just like the way they look...but it could have to do with the post if you think of it in terms of the relationships)

I'm always full of questions. Its been that way since the day I knew I was alive. Now I am wondering something new. What's in a friend? What is friendship? I mean really...what is it? I'm starting to question it. I like friends because they make me feel good and I make them feel good so that's why we like being around each other...

I still feel like there is more to friendship that I haven't yet discovered, more to this relationship to one another thing....

I guess I wonder because for awhile I felt all alone....and I didn't want to be alone.....then I became okay with being alone...and now I cant keep people from coming in through my front back and side doors....

-Pondering

Tuning in for the New Year?? What! Already???

2008-12-31T20:06:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!

Wow that statement has me going, Oh man! I can't believe a year has already gone by....it sure doesn't feel like it to me, how about you?

Well, 2008 took me to some crazy places that I never thought that I would even go. It was in 2008 that I began to try to find out more about this spiritual stuff, and realized some crazy things about the me, the body I live in, the world in general.........

Lets see....I read the power of now, a new earth, stillness speaks, plenty of psychic and astrology books I cant even think of the names for them, I learned about the law of attraction through Oprah, the secret DVD, and many of the beloved Abraham Hicks books. Not to mention I finally got around to reading the fantastic Byron Katie's books. (feewww that was alot for one year).

Honestly, I think I've had alot of fun! (wow I never thought that I would be saying that)

So whats to come next year, what am I expecting for the new year? I have no idea....truely...but I feel that its good, i feel that its actually going to be quite fantastic.

In fact I can already feel my life evolving to places I only dreamed of, literally...the funny thing is that all I had to do was let go.......

With Love...

Speaking of Control Freaks

2008-12-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

Unknown to me until recently, I have found that I am a huge control freak! If you would have asked me a couple of months ago I probably would have told you a different story- I would have told you that I was a selfless person that simply goes with the flow of life. But sadly (or not so sadly) I was wrong, wrong, wrong!

But you know, I think that we all have control issues. We want to control the weather, or what someone else is thinking, or what someone else is doing, or we even want to control situations that we don't like, but have no power to actually change. Its absolutely maddening!

Well today I realized something brand new (or at least it was new to me):

We think we are in control of people, and we especially think we are in control of them when we tell them what to do and they do it. When someone does as I say I feel like I have the power, I am the one that made them do that! But today I realized this is far from the truth. It was their choice to do what I said. Their choice. It never had to do with me. It was just as much their choice to do as I said as it was their choice to not do as I said. So it was never about me, it was always always always about them.

It's very freeing to realize this. To know that nothing anyone does is necessarily personal in relation to you-no, everything everyone does is very personal to them.

Gotta Love Oprah-Even the 200 pounds!

2008-12-29T21:36:00.000-08:00

Am I late on this?

I bet I am.....

Well-Apparently there is BIG NEWS!

Oprah has gained weight, and now she is tipping the scale at 200 lbs. Its all over the news stands, and everyone is talking about it (oh The Soup cant stop making jokes about it..).

Well of course I was interested in the story because if you didn't know, I love Oprah. She is amazing to me! So I went to the store, picked up a copy of O magazine (I dont often read O but for this I would read it) and I flipped straight to the main article HOW OPRAH GAINED ALL THAT WEIGHT.

But the story only made me love her more, not that I ever stopped loving her in the first place (and I never loved her or hated her for her size to begin with). First of all it made me love her because she admits she is human. It also makes me love her because it reminded me of myself. In fact, she is guilty of something we all have probably done at some point of our lives. Talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

It so reminds me of me, because for awhile I was reading so many spiritual books, I felt like I knew everything I could ever know about it, but I was still unhappy! (and yes I was telling people what they should do to be happy). Well, just like Oprah, I know what it is like to preach about happiness, but also to be unhappy-it hurts, it sucks, it blows, i hated it!!!!

Well, just like Oprah, I am starting to learn that this life is about me me me me me me me ME always ME first!. Sound selfish? IT is! This is a selfish Universe because it always starts with ME. How can I help anyone if I am not focusing on my well being? I cant. I cant teach happiness unless I am happy. How do I become happy? By starting with me of course.

So now I am on this big trip about meeeeeeee. Now I feel like the title of my blog is fitting more and more and more with my spiritual journey. Falling in love with myself is the best thing I have ever done.

Oh and yes, this is a selfish universe-but at the same time its not at all. Its another paradox. Getting used to paradox's is almost mandatory when your on a spiritual journey because life is FULL of them and this is another one: the moment I start to become happy by focusing on me and my well being-everyone benefits! It spreads out, and manifests into great things. It inspires others to be happy as well.

Thought Clouds:Loving My Neighbor

2008-12-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a week long trip to southern California. What a treat-it was cold (which I love) there was snow on the mountains (which was beautiful) and I was able to meet alot of amazing people.

While I was on the trip, I was able to read some of Byron Katie's book, A Thousand Names for Joy (yes it takes me awhile to read sometimes-its been about a month). One of the paragraphs in the book stuck out to me like a big red thumb. It touched me, and it might touch some of you. Enjoy.

" 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' I always have: I hated me, I hated you. Today I love me, and there is nothing I can do not to love you"

I love this quote. I mean, think of a time when you just really loved being around a person you usually see. Think of it, imagine it. You loved them, you loved yourself, you loved everything around you. Now think of a time you were around the same person, and you couldn't stand them-chances are you couldn't stand them, yourself, or anything around you.

Loving people has everything to do with you. Do you love yourself today? Chances are if you do you not only love yourself but you love everyone around you, you can enjoy the people around you. Do you hate yourself today? Chances are you hate everyone around you, including you, because it always starts with you. I love me. I love you. That's the way it works.

Speaking of Getting What You Want.....

2008-12-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

Hello to everyone who continues to check in on my little blog...about me.....and about finding my own spiritual path

This is another post about the much loved and much hated law of attraction.......

Its loved because it sounds like a fairytale where you can get anything you want...Anything! Plus the way it is explained by many popular books and movies makes it sound so simple....all you have to do is be happy, or feel like you already have what it is that you are wanting...and then you will get what you are wanting.......wow easy right?

WRONG!

This is why the law of attraction is much hated, and criticized by many people because it never works that way.....why? because its not easy to pretend you have something that you really really really want, because its not there! And when you're done pretending like you have it, you wake up to reality and realize its not there........and that makes people unhappy. But the key to law of attraction is being happy.....so....well you can guess what happens-I don't get what I want.

Okay so what is the key to law of attraction? Its a little complicated, but not really complicated at all, not once you get the hang of it. Really the law of attraction, and the key to utilizing it, is alot like everything that exists from our point of view-DUALITY. Duality means, two seemingly opposite things, that exist as one...or that's my take on it..........example night and morning, sun and moon, man and woman, child and adult.

Yes the key to the law of attraction is Happiness.....

Its also about realizing that the reason you want all of the things you want is because you think that those things will make you happy.

So its about realizing that those things outside of yourself that you want are not going to make you happy.

So that means you have to be happy in the moment that you are in, so that you realize that you never needed whatever it was (lets say a camera) to make you happy......because happiness exudes from inside of you and then reaches out, not the other way around.

Then when you almost forget that you thought you wanted a camera to make you happy because you realized that you can be happy without it, and you were having such a great time without it, the camera comes to you. Now you and the camera are a match, now you and the camera can coexist.

Remember everything in this world is entitled to its own life, which includes the camera, and the camera was never going to go to someone that had a strangling energy, why would it? Would you willingly go to someone who was crying in your arms when all you want to do is have a fun day? Probably not.

Confused? That's okay....I'll talk more about the law of attraction later, and how I have come to learn to make it work........

Getting on Board

2008-12-08T18:20:00.000-08:00

I fell of track a little bit.....I stopped doing the Finding Myself Challenge for a few days.....because it was making me feel exhausted. Yes it gave me freedom from certain thoughts, but during the process it made me cry, and drained alot of energy from me.

But now I feel strong enough to get back on board! Ill do a Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet tonight! I really lovvvvveeee feeling the freedom the four questions are giving me.

http://www.thework.com/downloads/JudgeYourNeighbor.pdf

http://www.thework.com

First Unitarian Universalist Church #2

2008-12-07T16:03:00.000-08:00

I previously attended the Universalist church in San Francisco for a nice Thanksgiving service, and decided that I should attend for a regular Sunday service to see what they were really all about.

Wow is all I can really say,

I cant even gauge whether or not I was attending a regular service or not to be honest because I think that it was their holiday special-which was about the winter solstice....in which they told stories about fairies and the dying and rebirth of the sun.....and the sermon was about the differences between light and dark, and the man that gave the sermon said he was a worshiper of the moon (I still don't know what religion that is).

So now I am thinking I will go back for a third time to see what a regular service is like (not a special holiday service, or a thanksgiving service).

But afterwards I was able to get a feel of the community. The community is a much better gauge of the church than the service. After the service they had a holiday fair, with different booths, and food. Somehow I got caught up in a crowd of people. I ended up meeting a kind security guard, meeting a woman that introduced me to a youth group leader, and got invited to one of the youth group meetings. It was all very nice! It seems like a great place where people are able to love each other.....so I'm thinking I might go to one of the meetings to see what the community is like, because after all just going to a service for any church or religion, or group doesn't tell me much about how the people function.

That means First Unitarian Universalist Church #3 should be coming out soon....either next week or the week after!

Food for Thought: Happiness-The Law of Attraction

2008-12-06T17:35:00.001-08:00

There is a trick to the law of attraction.

The trick is-well if you want to call it a trick-happiness.......

Well some might say "no duh" but its more than just the happiness of all of the things that you ever thought might make you happy. The trick to making the law of attraction work, is to first learn to be happy where you are right now, in this moment.

That means-can you find happiness in your despair, can you find peace in your depression, can you see the plenty in the nothing? The thing to the law of attraction is that it wont work if you are desperate for what you you want-it just wont-which means you have to find a way to let go of what you have been asking for before you can actually get it.....

So the law of attraction has always been about present moment happiness-and isn't that nice to know? Well, it is for me! Ever since I heard about the secret video, and the law of attraction, I've wondered how it works-I knew that there was something more to it.

Okay, I'm rambling, but I'm going to get to my point.

Doing The Work of Byron Katie, has really helped me understand how to let go of all of the things that I've wanted outside of myself, that I've thought would make me happy, and learn how to find happiness and peace inside of me, which radiates out of me.....which I believe is the key to the law of attraction.

Letting go feels soooooooo good-and I've noticed that once i let go, and i start to feel good, allot of the things that i wanted start to come! it's crazy!

Tired of the Green: Finding Myself Challenge

2008-12-03T11:25:00.000-08:00

I did the judge your neighbor worksheet about money today-it was very enlightening! Me and money don't have the best relationship, even after learning about the law of attraction, and so on and so on and so on.......but doing the worksheet on money today, made me view money in a completely different way! Below are the key points I realized.

( http://www.thework.com/downloads/JudgeYourNeighbor.pdf)

Money is life, just like everything else

Just like everything that is life, it is free, and free to move about as it pleases

Money never has to do anything because its free

Money knows the best place for itself to be

Money is like a boyfriend, friend, sister, brother, son, daughter etc.-the more you try to dictate its movement and freedom, the more elusive and standoffish it becomes (You know what I'm talking about. Its like when your mom always told you to do something like clean your room, and the more she would tell you to do it, the more you would get annoyed and you would resent her telling you what to do, so the more you would push away from her and not clean your room-well money does the same thing in regards of you telling it what to do)

Money doesn't have to bust my bank account, always be in my pocket, be there when I need it, or always be available-because it just doesn't have to!

Judge Your Neighbor-Judge Myself

2008-12-02T12:56:00.000-08:00

I did it!

I did my first Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet..and Oh my goodness, it took so long! (45 min)

But it was worth it, and it the issues I wrote about completely flipped themselves, and NOW i look at the other person, and myself in a completely different way. I feel free!

I cant even begin to imagine where I will be if I do the Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet at least once a day for the rest of the month....I cant wait to see!

Try it out for yourself....... http://www.thework.com/downloads/JudgeYourNeighbor.pdf

December Challenge-Finding My Self

2008-12-02T11:51:00.000-08:00

Its a new month!

And that means its time for a new challenge!!!

Just like I did yoga, meditation and tea for a week, I plan on challenging myself in a new way-but this time it will be for the entire month of December.

What is it?

Appropriate and ironic, it is going to be about the name of my blog Finding Myself and Living It.

As I keep moving through my life (well probably for the past week), it dawned on me that I haven't actually been participating in my life fully. Then, I thought back to sooooooooo many examples of where I've never actually been living my life-how sad! Well I want to live in my life fully, and to shine, and enjoy!

It also became clear to me that living my own life has been one of my deepest desires. This has to be the reason why songs like "Living my Life" have touched me so deeply, because its what I really want!

Ways I don't fully live my life:

Looking at other people and then wanting what they have, and then giving examples about what they have and what I don't have, so...
Comparison
Waiting on others to have a good time
Thinking my happiness is dependent on something outside of myself
Wanting things I don't need

The examples above are ways I don't fully live my life and they, always, always, always take me outside of myself, so that I mentally am living in another life.......so the new challenge of the month is....

To live in my life, HOW? To question my thoughts as they come...WHAT ELSE...to do the full 6 question judge your neighbor worksheet at least once a day (part of the four questions of inquiry).....WHAT IS THE INQUIRY WORKSHEET...check it out on this URL - http://www.thework.com/downloads/JudgeYourNeighbor.pdf

My ultimate goal is freedom! Peace! Happiness! and I honestly don't want it to depend on anyone but ME because in the end I am always with myself! Wish me luck!

Thought Clouds

2008-11-29T09:35:00.000-08:00

"If I only worry about myself, I need not worry about much else"

East Bay Meditation Center: Free Your Heart Workshop

2008-11-28T16:05:00.000-08:00

East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) is located in downtown Oakland. I have been once before for a four part begining meditation class they held.

What's different about EBMC is that it holds a very diverse community that includes all different races, ethnicities, and sexual orientation. They even have workshops and meditation groups for specific groups of people, just in people arent comfortable being in such a diverse group yet (their main goal is to bring everyone together though).

On December 20Th they are holding a "Free Your Heart Workshop" which is basically about finding true genuine connection and love between ourselves, and others. It is an all day workshop that will include group collaboration, meditation, music, movement, and group discussion.

Hmmm... Well I thought it sounded interesting so I am thinking of signing up!

All programs at the EBMC are free, and they only ask for a donation.

The EBMC website is http://www.eastbaymeditation.org/. This website has been newly remodeled and has allot of new resources which include: events, groups, news, and a community bulletin board which is full of free things people are giving away, apartments for rent, and there is even a section where people can talk about special skills they have for hire!

Reality Can Spice Things Up

2008-11-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

This is an update about my own life, and my own spiritual journey because this blog is not just about facts-its also very personal.

I've realized that I have never really been in my life.

Most of the time I'm in someone else's life.

Spending my time wishing I was like this person, or liking what someone else does, or trying to do things someone else's way.......but what about me, what about my life? That is their life, and I'm trying to mentally live in their life.

Well, you know, I'm starting to realize that my life is pretty interesting. I'm starting to realize that those celebrities that we find so fascinating to watch, are fascinating because they are living in their life completely, and not looking over at someones grass that is supposedly greener.

So this is my new personal project for the new month of December.....living in my own life, staying in my own business, and realizing that my life is fascinating, wonderful, fantastic, and interesting!

Location, Location, Location! First Unitarian Church of San Francisco

2008-11-27T17:11:00.000-08:00

I had another spurr of the moment experience today when I woke up. I went on a part of craigslist I've never visited before and found out about the Unitarian Church In San Francisco, and it was giving a Thanksgiving service at 10a.m. Perfect! I'd always seen the flyer's that came in the mail about Universal Church's that except everyone-so I thought why not!

I have been to Thanksgiving services before-usually a small gathering of dedicated church members, with a small service that doesn't last long, and usually instead of the usually choir there is a local two people from the choir that are part of the dedicated members. So I figured that I might be getting more of the same when I went to the First Unitarian.

How I was wrong! There were people streaming into the sanctuary and the place was nearly full by the time the service started. From what I could tell the full choir was there as well.

Much of the service reminded me of my own memories in Christian Church, in fact if I'd never been to church as a child I might have been very confused-there were hymns that were sung, and parts that you stood up for like the congregation standing and reading between the congregation and the speaker up front. But there were many parts that were different.

Things That Make First Unitarian Church of San Francisco Different:

Sacred scriptures read from the Hebrew Bible, Christian Bible, and the Rig Veda (India)
A beautiful Hebrew song L'Dor VaDor was sung
Before anything major happened in the service a small meditation was done
Prayers in the Buddhist, Christian, and Muslim tradition

One of the pastor's and his wife came up to speak. The pastor told his story of why he was thankful to be in this church, and one of the things that he said that struck me the most was this, "We all have life no matter your religion even if you are an atheist. I live in an inclusive community"

And of course, in all typical fashion, an offering was collected near the end of the service, that went to the Interfaith Winter Shelter. But the speaker that was asking for the money seemed so genuine and kind, that I didn't feel haggled to give, and didn't mind giving money.

Is the Unitarian Church all it says it is?

I still have no idea! From an outside appearance it looks like it does because they seem to include and introduce you to so many different religious practice, and they all sit together. But for me to really know if they live what they preach, I really have to get to know the congregation, a bit better. I plan on going back to a real Sunday service as well as one of their classes outside of the Sunday service.

The website for First Unitarian Church of San Francisco is: http://www.uusf.org/

Quickie: A Thousand Names for Joy

2008-11-26T10:07:00.000-08:00

When I like something, I like it alot! I wont drop the subject until I'm tired of hearing about it. Well what I like right now is Byron Katie, I'm hooked! I love doing The Work, I love questioning my thoughts now, and I like the fact that I feel so free, and that The Work constantly brings me back to the moment-to reality.

Now I've stumbled upon another Byron Katie book called A Thousand Names for Joy by listening to an interview with her and her husband. I like the idea of the book because it gives you an ever day account of what it is like to live in Byron Katie's world. What is it like to live in the now, and love everything that is? Well this book will show you.

It is Katie's response to parts of the Tao Te Ching, which I tried to read but couldn't do it. I thought that this book sounded so interesting that I went to the library to read it (I couldn't check out it because something was wrong with my card). And so far, I love it, even though i only read about ten pages. I like that it has examples from Katie's own life.

As soon as I can, I will check this book out from the library!

Loving What Is: Why I'm Learning Why People Are Raving About the Book

2008-11-25T19:08:00.000-08:00

About a month ago I purchased Loving What Is on a whim (aren't those always the best choices). Well, I'm glad to say that it was money well spent because this book has four questions that will challenge the thoughts that cause you suffering, and in turn will change your life-or at least it did for me.

****This work is so wonderful, transformative, and amazing! So of course I automatically wanted to try it on my boyfriend who is usually tangled in his thoughts (well so am I). I never got through the questions on the two different occasions I did try because I ended up getting yelled at and attacked (not physically, just emotionally) each time I tried The Work on him. So its important to remember: The Work is only for people who are ready for it, who are ready to bring their demons out of the closet because they are tired of their suffering and they want peace or something of the sort. I learned my lesson! ****

So here is a quick overview:

Our attachment to our thoughts cause us suffering. It is not the thought that is harming us, but the fact that we believe in the thought.
Some thoughts make you feel good, while other thoughts make you feel bad
By challenging each thought that causes us to suffer (stress, anxiety, sadness, panic, unwillingness, guilt etc.) we can find that another reality can exist outside of the thoughts that make us feel bad, it helps us tell a different story, it helps us destroy the prisons in our minds-and this book teaches us how to do it, and very simply at that.

But before we can start off with the four questions that will begin to give relief and peace of mind, make at least one statement about someone else, or even yourself that has been a cause of suffering. Ex., I hate it when John doesn't take me seriously. Now we're ready for the four questions!

The four Questions Are:

Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that its true?
How do I react when I think the thought?
Where would I be without the thought?
(then comes the turnaround, where you take your original statement and turn it around on yourself. Ex., I hate it when John doesn't take me seriously becomes I hate it when I don't take myself seriously)

Later I will put an example up of one of my own statements and turnaround. So far the questions have been changing my life and I'm very interested in reading her other book, A Thousand Names for Joy.

The website http://www.thework.com/ is full of video's of the seminars with Byron Katie and normal people who are there to transform there life and end their suffering, it is also gives you all the information you need about the work, as well as helpful worksheets to aide you for free! Also http://www.katiebyron.com/ is Katie's blog which is full of little goodies that aren't on the website, like letters people right her about their changes, their own turnarounds, and even snippets from Katie's life and insights.

Thought Clouds

2008-11-25T19:04:00.000-08:00

About Life Possesions:

"Why would I want any of this to last-it never does- and that is always the case-what it is, is constant fluctuation-freedom. So I let it come freely and go freely because it has to, and because it does"

Sickereedoo

2008-11-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

Its been a week since I have been sick, and only recently have I been better!

There are a few things that are absolutely great about being sick though-appreciation.

Not being in a well body, and then being in a well body really made me appreciate the simple functions of what my body does, like the simplicity of swallowing saliva without it hurting. Being able to push myself up, to turn over, to have a clear mind, and to feel energy in my body.

I also had to marvel at how efficient my body is.

On Monday night last week I threw up horribly, but all through it I was thinking it was so cool that my body has this perfect system to completely up-haul all of this poison out of the body, that it has this perfect system to help me! Wow! How cool is that?

But now that I am feeling better, I plan on going to Psychic Horizons for a free class!

Thought Clouds

2008-11-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

"I enjoy my food, and so do the cells of my body. My cells enjoy the nutrition I provide as much as I enjoy the taste of fresh fruit on my tongue. Each cell of my body lives in its own fantastic world just as I live in my own world."

Dizzy Blue Dizzy Me

2008-11-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

This whole week has been a complete whirlwind! I started a new job in addition to the job that I have-so now I'm trying to figure out how to not get caught up in all of the business of my own life. I'm trying to find balance in my life-because I know that if I don't I can get mean and feel so disoriented. My new question is-how can i have two jobs, friends, a boyfriend, and still have time for me? To still have my spiritual time? To still live heaven on earth? Should I meditate in the morning-if I'm not to sleepy? Or should I do yoga when I get off work? I know I will find the right balance eventually and hopefully soon!

I still plan on going Golden Gate Spiritualist Church this coming Sunday!

Location, Location, Location!

2008-11-09T22:11:00.000-08:00

Next week I will be checking out the Golden Gate Spiritualist church in San Francisco. It looks huge! You can see the picture of the building at their website- http://www.ggsc.org/.

I did know someone who went to this spiritualist church and their personal review matches the one review I found on google reviews. It is a very nice place, they sing, they have a sermon, and then they have people that can talk the dead at the end of the service-hmmm, sounds spicey!

Church service for The Golden Gate Spiritualist Church is every Sunday, at 10:30Am. I havent been to a church service in a long time, so it will be interesting to see how this one compares to the memories I have of Baptist church service.

Managing Stress Class: Think a Little Happy Thought

2008-11-09T09:39:00.000-08:00

This is the continuation of the managing stress class I'm attending at the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center in San Francisco:

The first thing we were asked to do was to think of a couple of happy memories. Why? Because happy memories, or happy thoughts make you feel-well-happy! And when you're happy is there any time for stress? No!

Here is a list of what you might feel when you are thinking sad, distressing thoughts:

Negative

Nervous

Alone

Angry

Blame

Hate

Stuck

Crying

Low energy-or no energy

Wanting to give up

and of course...Un-happy

When you feel distressing thoughts on a chronic level, then it begins to affect your body. Usually this is :

Ache

Pain in the joints

Soar

Lethargic

Weak

Sickness

*remember stress is just the messenger that is saying stop what you are doing, stop what you are thinking-when chronic stress happens sickness can occur, and this is almost like an eviction because you didn't listen to all of the messages the landlord has been sending you. Sickness means you have to stop and take care of yourself.

When you think of good things that could happen in the future, things that made you smile in the past you begin to feel:

Happy

Energetic

Warm

Smiling

Patient with others

Release of tension in the body

Loving

Connected to the world

I know some people get freaked out when people say positive thinking is all you need. "No way that's impossible," some people will say. But, would you rather think positive thoughts and get your work done, or think negative thoughts and get your work done?

Its important to remember positive thinking doesn't just happen overnight especially if you're already feeling really down right depressed. Thinking the cup is half full takes time and practice-so take the time to practice those thoughts, even if you just start with one a day-write it down, look for new memories to feel good about throughout your day, and document it!

Managing Stress Class: What is Stress

2008-11-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

For the rest of this month, every Monday night at 7pm, I will be attending a stress management class at the Brahma Kumaris Meditation Center (San Francisco).

I've already gone to the first class on Nov. 3rd, and it was amazing!

Everyone in the class was so nice, kind and warm. I already love the little group of nine people that gather around this young (or at least she looks it) woman from India that is here to teach us all about what stress is. But like I said, I really just love the people in the class because everyone is so diverse, and from a different age group.

My favorite quote of the whole class:
Stress is just a messanger that has brought the message something needs to change

Reasons why stress happens:

Have forgoten we are responsible for how we feel
Have learned to absorb negative images and information
Are not able to increase our response rate to keep pace with the rate of change in the world around us

Waiting on the World to Change

2008-11-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I didn't want to make my blog about anything political of course-but I guess I had to do it since I wrote about voting. It's just an update that most likely isn't needed. Our new president will be Barack Obama!

It is amazing because he won in a landslide of 349 electoral votes to McCain's 147. Wow, are we ready for change? Yes we are!

I keep watching all of these interviews about what people were thinking before they voted for the next president, what they felt. I listened to many answers that sounded the same.

What was I thinking before I put in my vote? I thought about the Mayan calender their 2012 prediction of the end of the world (well my interpretation of this is just that they meant the end of the world as we know it now-not literally the end of the world as in kaboom! we're all dead). I thought of the Mayan calender because I though who I would want to be president in 2012 which is the mark of a great change of consciousness on this planet of how people think, function, and believe-and you know what? I think that Obama would be the perfect person to bring part of the change in human consciousness, in human thinking, that the Mayans predict for 2012!

I look forward to seeing what happens next! It will be exciting!

Yoga, Meditation, Tea

2008-11-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

Today is November the fifth- a complete week from the day I started Yoga, Meditation and Tea! I have to say, wow, wow, wow! Just doing this for a week has changed my life!

Here are some things that changed in my life with yoga:

more energy!
more relaxed!
easier to laugh throughout the day!
more of a sense of well being
more flexible (I can almost do the splits-almost)
stronger !
less tense!

Here are some things that changed in my life with meditation:

calmer
more of an ability to step back from problems
easy going
less quick to anger
less annoyed
easier to focus on my self-my well being

What happened to the Tea? Well it sort of disappeared! I couldn't take drinking tea after fifteen minutes of concentrated meditation. Drinking the tea was almost like another form of meditation which was too much for me-at least for now!

I think I am going to try my hardest to continue with the meditation and yoga. I just got an additional job to the one I have, and I think I will need to have my center before I go out into the world of two jobs!

What was my Yoga, Meditation, and Tea schedule like?

Thirty minutes of yoga (Three full sun salutations)
Sometimes listening to music during the yoga while singing really helped
Being concious of the breath during Yoga helps make sure you are doing the same amount of time on each side of the body

Mediation for 10-15 minutes (really dependent on how I felt)
Concentrate on the breath
Feel the inner body
Listen to the silence around me

*I have to note that with feeling good through yoga and meditation, my body seemed to crave foods that were better for it-most of the week I started my day off with water, then a fruit smoothie, and two bowls of salad somewhere in between regular eating. I also found that it was easier for me to know that I was full, and not overeat-maybe it came from the yoga, the meditation, or maybe its harder to overeat healthy foods that are harder to chew!

Is my Vote November 4th 2008 worth Dying For?

2008-11-03T12:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, a young man approached me late at night at a bus stop. He was deeply disturbed and began to talk to me about what was on his mind, and what was on his mind were very troubling issues about tomorrow's election.

Apparently, if Obama wins, groups of people are planning on harassing people, killing people, and assassinating Obama. Well, this young man was just trying to warn me that I should vote with a group of people because I may be harassed when I come out of the polling booth, or I may be kidnapped, or even killed-and he wanted me to warn other people as well.

Then he went on to talk about slave labour in prisons, how unfair life is, how life is a battlefield, and how he is trying to survive with three children. I sat and I listened to him talk to me for fifteen minutes, not saying a word.

And then eventually, our paths parted. But what struck me during the conversation was that people are afraid of the worst to come for this election. People may be too scarred to vote, too scarred to leave their houses, afraid that someone may kill them if Obama wins.

So, this is my opinion of the whole matter:

Don't be afraid. You don't have to be afraid. Before anything great can actually happen there is always turbulence, but once you get past the turbulence good things are waiting. In almost any situation where great change was about to take place-for instance civil rights in the U.S-there is always resistance to the change, there is always a point where someone will oppose what is happening. But these are just growing pains. The resistance is a sign of growth, the turbulence is a sign that things are happening! The turbulence can show that it is actually positive, something great is about to happen! Please, don't be afraid of the growing pains that are happening with the upcoming election, it is expected and it is something that must happen for change to occur and it wont last forever-nothing ever really does, and eventually life will move on to even greater things!

Reading New Books: Loving What Is

2008-11-01T10:34:00.000-07:00

Byron Katie. I first heard about this woman from a friends, boyfriends mom while on vacation at their house a couple of states away. I'd already been reading plenty of books (A New Earth, The Power of Now, Stillness Speaks, Ask and it is Given, Law of Attraction, Think and Grow Rich etc.) and then someone mentioned Byron Katie.

Apparently she is fantastic! Her "work" literally in this case because what she does is called "the work" transforms lives. In fact, The Work is so effective that it is being taught all over the world, and even throughout denominations! Whoa! So of course I was interested, but not interested enough to actually buy it, or read it while I was on vacation at this wonderful house that had all sorts of wonderful spiritual books sitting on their bookcase.

Loving What Is never really jumped out at to me, even after I found out Oprah read the book and loved it (and I really do love Oprah). In fact for 5 months I never wanted to read this book, but then yesterday something in my mind sparked "I gotta read Loving What Is" while I was in route of going to get a super steak burrito.

I went an hour out of the way to go to Borders and pick up Byron Katie's book-so far, so good. I'm only on page six (I know its not really far enough to say I love the book) but its far enough for me to know why I felt drawn to the book, because it's the same reason why I felt motivated to do yoga, meditation, and tea for a week.

I was tired of my thoughts, of feeling stressed out- i wanted to learn how to be okay with being by myself, to feel good, to feel free and independent, and this is what "Loving What Is" is all about.

Empowering yourself, and feeling the love within yourself, and realizing that your freedom begins inside of you.

And I knew that-but it is always nice to read a book sometimes, and listen to others stories and see them become uplifted. Byron Katie is the epitome of what I would love to be one day, filled with love and joy, and not resisting what is-wouldn't that be nice? This is why I am doing Meditation and Yoga-to find my peace, to love what is!

I will update later about the book as I read more, and especially when I finish. The link below links to YouTube.com where you can find video's on Byron Katie's The Work. I actually looked at a few of the video's prior to buying the book.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8vLJazT08o

Yoga, Meditation, and Tea

2008-10-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

I want to start my day off with a kick in the right direction. So, what better way to start the day off well than with a little yoga, meditation, and tea?
I really would love to see how this would transform my life if I only did these things for a week-and I'm not talking hardcore Yoga, or Meditation for two hours to receive enlightenment-no just some simple stretching and sun salutations to get my juices flowing accompanied soon after with ten minutes of meditation. Why tea afterward? Well I have no idea really-just seemed like a good idea for a cool down.
Today was the first day that I started my yoga, meditation and tea. I was already awake at 5:30 Am, and when my mom woke up (about 6:00Am) I asked her if she wanted to join me with meditation since she usually stretches in the morning before she is off to work.
We did two sun salutations; after we did stretches (learned the stretches from my soccer days). Well just from the simple yoga, my body felt fantastic! I had no idea I was so stiff and hurting.
So then, I went to my room for some meditation, set my alarm for a quick ten minutes, and closed my eyes. The energy that was pulsating through my body was amazing! My whole body was alive! If I had not stopped to meditate, I wouldn’t have even known how much my body loved the yoga! Wow, simply put it just felt good.
I could some my meditation experience up in a few words "love and laughter," (from journal). One more thing to add, by the end of the meditation my mind was wandering so much, wondering when this would be over, why I decided to do this, is it over, is it over, is it over, and then thinking about work and all the orders the customers had that day. And I laughed at these thoughts. I can’t wait to see what my mind will be doing tomorrow.
So I definitely think that if I just tried my meditation and yoga for a week (November 5th) I will be feeling like a different woman! I can’t wait to see.
Oh yes, and the tea was a nice touch at the end because it is another focusing tool-focus on the warmth on your hands, the smell in your nose, the tea touching your lips.
Until tomorrow,

Me First, Things Second

2008-10-26T09:39:00.000-07:00

Living in the moment

Realizing each moment is amazing

Teaching the mind to quiet itself so that the present moment can show up

Allowing the right brain to be equally as dominant as the left brain

Seeing the world for what it truly is-energy in motion-atoms and molecules-vibration that is being seen with my senses as solid.

These are my goals in life. I dont know how many months ago it was,but I started to learn about the law of attraction, I mean go beyond "The Secret" and really learn how to use the law of attraction through Abraham teachings. I got soooooo good at the law of attraction. So many things began to happen all at once. So much change. Friends, money, jobs, it all seemed to be flocking to me. And then I became unhappy after awhile.

How could I be unhappy with all of these amazing things happening to me, things that I wanted, things that I asked for?

Well, the problem I believe was with the results. I became lost in my results, lost in the physical. To realy utilize the law of attraction I had to become connected with life force, with Source, God..etc. I had to primarily realize that I am more than this physical body, that I am so much more, and become connected to that-of course with that connection came all of the things I was asking for!

But when all the things I was asking for happened so quickly, I stopped focusing primarily on the inner me, and started focusing on the physical as primary-and thats when I became unhappy. So thats what sparked this blog, and this blog could not have come at a better time because my significant other has just left for a week, which gives me time to focus on me, to find my center again.

"So now I know not to get lost in the physical again-although physical things are nice. But first and foremost I know that I have to be connected with my inner self, I have to remember that I am spirit but also that I have to actively get to that place of spirit by focusing on it- and only then will all of the things I want come, but not only will they come but they will be satisfying when they do because I never depended on those things to be happy in the first place, I was always happy, and whatever comes is a nice addition. But even if what comes chooses to leave, it wouldnt matter because I never depended on those things to be happy. Those things were just additional things to look at and enjoy," (from journal)

This blog is going to be about my journey fine tuning myself to the present moment, because there is so much relief in it! I love it! It just feels so good when I feel my mind squirming my thoughts going crazy and running amuck, and then I remember I can shut those thoughts off, and live right now! I know it doesnt sound exciting when i write it down, but when you actually experience it, it feels fantastic!

Present moment living, with the law of attraction, I think this will be a beautiful new relationship.